Kristen was joined by Leila Lawson, our upcoming August Parent Group speaker.
Don't miss this insightful conversation with Leila as she shares her experiences and strategies, then join us on August 6th to hear more about the executive functioning strategies you can use with your family to help everyone manage daily tasks.
Summary
In this podcast episode, Kristen Stuppy interviews Leila Lawson, a former teacher and current police officer and life coach, about executive functioning and strategies for success. Leila shares her experiences in law enforcement and teaching, and how they have shaped her understanding of ADHD and hidden disabilities. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and diagnosing ADHD, and the need for strategies rather than relying solely on willpower. Leila also discusses her coaching business and the importance of conflict resolution and leadership skills. The conversation concludes with a discussion about ADHDKC and the upcoming talk on executive functioning.
Takeaways
Recognizing and diagnosing ADHD is important for understanding and addressing the challenges associated with it.
Strategies are crucial for success, especially for individuals with ADHD, as willpower alone is not enough.
Conflict resolution and leadership skills are valuable tools for navigating personal and professional relationships.
ADHDKC provides support and resources for individuals with ADHD and their families.
The upcoming talk on executive functioning will provide valuable insights and strategies for parents and individuals with ADHD.
Chapters
00:00Introduction and Background
01:33Recognizing ADHD and Hidden Disabilities
06:16Conflict Resolution and Leadership Skills
09:37ADHDKC: Supporting Individuals with ADHD and Their Families
13:03Unlocking Executive Functioning: Tools and Strategies for Success
AI Generated Transcript
(please excuse errors)
Kristen Stuppy (00:00.558)
Hello everyone. I am Kristen Stuppy I am with ADHDKC and this is one of our newer podcasts that I started with the fabulous Jeremy Didier and I am going to welcome our first ever parent group speaker who is going to join us on the ADHDKC CHADD chapter of the Kansas City metropolitan area.
So, Leila Lawson has a fabulous history and I am excited to hear more. I have met Leila briefly, but she is a police officer and life coach and I'm excited to learn more about her and what she's going to be talking about at our meeting in August. So, her talk is going to be about executive functioning and she's going to tell us a lot more about that and herself.
So first, can you tell me a little bit about your job as a police officer and why it's important that you understand about ADHD and other hidden disabilities and neurodivergences?
Leila Lawson (01:03.598)
Yes, thank you so much. I'm honored to be the first guest on here for this talk. So being in law enforcement, I've seen just a lot of different obstacles that citizens face. And I've also dealt with young adults and children.
Kristen Stuppy (01:09.326)
You
Leila Lawson (01:30.254)
And with some of my experiences as teaching, which I taught there and great for about four years, working in the schools gave me such an eye opener to the struggles of the students. And even though students may not necessarily always call 911, their parents do, and they may call us because they're struggling on how to deal with their children.
When you're able to recognize yourself in these kids or the students, and when I say recognize yourself, with me being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I wasn't diagnosed as a kid, but I would see that I had some of these, I'll call them maybe a dysfunction that I didn't realize. Like it's, my report card talks too much or easily distracted or hard to stay on task.
noticing some of those things when I was teaching in the classroom or when I would go to the citizens homes and they're needing our assistance with kids really made me understand and realize the importance of being diagnosed and recognize an ADHD. So I think that when you're in a space and you're around a lot of people and you have that crisis,
You don't always understand or focus on why this is happening. You just want it to stop, right? But if you can understand the why, then you can understand the strategy on how to maybe work around it or, you know, come up with a solution. And that is a lot of what law enforcement is. It's different crisis happening a lot because no one's calling 911 because they're having a great day. So what I have learned in my experience in law enforcement,
is that you have to learn conflict resolution as well as see like the bigger problem, right? Because normally when people call us, the problem didn't start that day. So children that have maybe behavior situations going on, that didn't start that day. And a lot of times as parents and me being a parent myself, you don't always know the strategies.
Leila Lawson (03:52.494)
to handle things, you just want it to stop. And so I really want to dive into with my talk in August strategies versus willpower because people think, well, if you want this bad enough, you're just going to do it. If you want to be good, you're going to be good. You're not going to be bad. You're going to act really good, right? And it's not that easy. Like no kid or no adult walks around wanting to be bad.
So as I transition out of law enforcement and transition into my new journey and my new career as a life coach, I just want to help people adjust and understand that it's not the willpower. Willpower is really finite, but it's the strategies. You know, you have to strategize and understand what you can do to be successful. And I'll just give a quick, you know, anecdote or story rather of myself.
Kristen Stuppy (04:19.31)
Right.
Leila Lawson (04:48.686)
I am distracted easily, right? I get distracted. Ever since I was a kid, that was on my report card. Like, I don't know how they do report cards nowadays, because my kids are older, but report cards back then, they had little boxes, and they would check off on their distracted easily, or talks too much, or something like that, right? And I had to learn that as a teacher, because I've been a teacher, and as an instructor, because I've been an instructor as well, that things that people do distract me.
Kristen Stuppy (05:04.942)
Bye.
Leila Lawson (05:16.334)
So I do get distracted easily and I never really understood that. So one of the ways that I would strategize against it is if I am teaching, I would make sure to ask everyone to kind of put away all distractions and then make it to where not only is it engaging for them, it's engaging for me. So my talks are very active and engaging if that makes sense.
I don't believe in death by PowerPoint. There's nothing wrong with the PowerPoint for all my fans that love a PowerPoint. I love a PowerPoint too, but I don't necessarily have to work from a PowerPoint. It's there for the information, but I really enjoy the interactive learning component. That way everyone can be involved and no one is sitting there lost in their thoughts. Because when I am the attendee to PowerPoint presentations, one of my strategies, I have to sit down and write.
Like I'm writing the entire time, not because I'm writing down everything they're saying, but to help me focus, I have to write, right? Like that's one of my strategies to help me focus and not be distracted. Because otherwise I'm like thinking.
Kristen Stuppy (06:22.094)
So.
It sounds like you have like the perfect case study for, you know, a child who on early report cards was talking too much and then have had multiple different careers over the time. That is kind of ADHD in a nutshell right there. Did you learn some of these strategies just on your own from childhood and beyond, or was this something that led you to your coaching certification?
Leila Lawson (06:55.15)
Some of the things I learned just by looking them up or talking to other people and reading and absolutely having a mentor. My mentor really pushed me towards coaching and he's always pushing me to read, like just, you know, read multiple books and helping me to grow. So different experiences as I was a kid and just
Going back and having that reflection, and it's funny, Kristen, that you mentioned a lot of different jobs. I was someone that hopped around from job to job to job because I used to get bored easily. Like, just, I'm kind of bored here. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know what to do with this. But not realizing that that had anything to do with something inside of me, right? Like, in my brain, there's more. Because I'm like, how can people stay somewhere for
40 years, that's crazy. But now understanding it, you know, so I would say a combination of my life experiences and having a mentor and then just wanting to know being a forever learner.
Kristen Stuppy (08:14.574)
is amazing and I think that really speaks to people with ADHD need that novelty in life. They need change, they need excitement to help them be able to focus on whatever it is and so they might hyper focus on one area for a while but then it becomes boring so then they move on.
Leila Lawson (08:15.086)
That was everything.
Leila Lawson (08:32.846)
Yes. And a lot of times it's finding that, finding your niche in something to where you can have your stability, yet your change, you know, kind of get the best of both worlds. And that's something that as a life coach, I would love to focus on helping individuals understanding that because that is something that I've lived through and kind of struggled with. And I feel like I'm beginning to now.
master and understand how to do these things and I want to help others.
Kristen Stuppy (09:08.782)
Well, and most of your careers have been helping others teaching and police officer. You have held those service type careers or jobs, however you want to look at that. And it's interesting how you parallel parenting with police officer and of course the coaching. So I don't know if you want to speak more to that, how parents can use some of these skills.
Leila Lawson (09:18.382)
Yes. Yes, that is about true.
Leila Lawson (09:34.19)
Yes, so...
Absolutely, I would say with parenting and for me Everyone disclaimer. I'm no expert right? I'm just going off of my own parenting of my own two children so I have an 18 year old and a 24 year old and I have learned it was a lot of trial and error With parenting especially I parented my children at different ages, right? I have my daughter at 21 and I have my son at 27 so even though
both kids in my 20s, I was different in my maturity and coming to a different understanding. And I would say now one of the greatest things I was able to do as I learned is, and I'm sure the eldest child doesn't get the same mature parent, right? You don't, you just don't. Cause you're, it doesn't matter if an
Kristen Stuppy (10:32.59)
no matter how old your audience is.
Leila Lawson (10:34.862)
Right, and I say this to say, if you're a parent that has a kid at 27 and then has your second kid at 33, the child that came at 33 is still gonna get a different parent than the one that came at 27. Because age doesn't matter, your life experiences matter. And so no matter what age you are, if you've never been a parent, you have to go through that first parenting phase. And what I mean by that is, as a first parent,
you may go through things and have a plan of what to do, right? Like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and it may or may not work. And then you have your second child, or just your second opportunity at parenting, and you are able to go back and look at what worked or what didn't work. And so tying this back to our ADHD and how to really focus, I never really understood the importance of writing things down or making it visual for myself. And I would say now, that is something
huge that I use as a tool, right? I have the calendar on my refrigerator. It's a clear calendar that, you know, it's a magnet and you can put it on your refrigerator to clear, as well as just a clear board to write notes. In my son's room, I have a dry erase board on his wall so that I can write notes like, don't forget to make your bed, don't forget to clean your bathroom. And if he can see it, it's not mom nagging. It's him having an opportunity to make that choice.
And he told me at one point in time, he's like, mom, I got up today and I thought about you and I go, hey, make sure you make your bed. Like he just like said the whole thing, but I'm sure the board has helped, right? So that I'm not constantly having to speak and say those things. Because for me, you never want to over parent, but you feel like you over parent, like you're constantly repeating yourself, but making something visual, that's a tool. That's a strategy.
you know, and having that opportunity to understand that you have to strategize so that you're not doing too much. Minimize your crisis inside your home, like you said. So it all kind of leads up, because otherwise you're constantly repeating yourself with the same thing. But if you create those opportunities to be.
Kristen Stuppy (12:34.286)
Exactly.
Leila Lawson (13:00.174)
You know a creative checklist or create time time awareness is huge You know when we look at executive functioning our working memory How many times has someone said where are my keys? I? Don't know where the keys are or the kids are like. I don't know where my shoes are what do you mean? You don't know where your shoes are we're trying to get out the door so keys and shoes you're trying to find those things but if you strategize and you have a home and everything has a spot and it's
something that you can, you know, a consistent routine, then you're able to truly be a little bit more successful.
Kristen Stuppy (13:38.734)
Exactly. And I presume that's what your whole talk August 6th will be about is some of these tools that families can use. Because if you just tell your kids to try harder or just do it, they're going to get lost. So they need those executive functioning tools to help them. So I think it's going to be a fabulous talk and I'm super excited about it. Tell me about your coaching business. Where are you with that?
Leila Lawson (13:57.038)
Absolutely, Kristen.
Leila Lawson (14:09.166)
So with my life coaching, I have been coaching and currently I am working on writing a ebook to add to my coaching website that I'm working on getting up probably mid July to end of July. And it's just to assist individuals that want to kind of get leadership skills, executive coaching, conflict resolution. And when I say conflict resolution, I am referring to
basic conflict management, there's times that we come into conflict with something as simple as, and I'll start with something like inside the home, right? Like, it's not your turn to ride in the front seat for siblings. That's a conflict nonetheless. Or you're having a conflict because of, you know, we don't agree on the curfew time. So it could be something as small as that.
Or it could be something as workplace conflict for adults. Whereas you have a coworker that you don't see eye to eye with. And when you think about conflict, a lot of times, Kristen, the conflict stems from misunderstandings, right? So if you don't know an individual, it's hard to receive the information and not know them like you've had to know them for the past three or four years. But if you and I are colleagues, Kristen, and
We're communicating information and I'll say, I'll just use an example via text. If you and I have only known each other for a couple of months and I'm not sure your tone or your demeanor or your energy, I may read something and receive it incorrectly or I may receive the email that you send me incorrectly because I don't know you. I've not taken the time to know you. But if I take just a little bit of time to know you, that will absorb almost that conflict that could have happened.
Because I can say, you know what? Kristen is a helper and she doesn't mean anything personal by this. She's trying to help me, right? And it can bring that defense down that we sometimes will have up when we don't understand someone's positioning as to the information that's being shared. So just kind of.
Kristen Stuppy (16:25.902)
is a fantastic example. Already today I have amended one of my texts because I sent it and I thought, ooh, the tone might be read wrong. So I added a second text to follow up to clarify that I wasn't thinking the person had done something wrong. It was just the situation that didn't turn out fantastically. So I think we can watch our own tones, but also try to watch
Leila Lawson (16:35.758)
Mm -hmm.
Leila Lawson (16:47.822)
Right.
Kristen Stuppy (16:52.686)
how others might be perceived and if that's their true intention or not. So I think that's a fantastic life coaching.
Leila Lawson (16:59.822)
And I like how you said that, Kristen. You amended it, you know? It's not that you're gonna take it back, but you just wanted to make sure that that individual was able to receive your words, because a lot of times, with conflict management, or just conflict resolution, the person will get caught on one sentence or one word and miss the rest of it. I mean, what's the saying? You can't see the force for the trees? And you're, so.
Kristen Stuppy (17:27.374)
Exactly.
Leila Lawson (17:28.558)
you know, that can end up happening to us. And just developing as a leader with my coaching business, developing leaders, we all have a leader within us and we don't have to necessarily lead others, but it's really important to know how to lead ourselves in a successful way.
Kristen Stuppy (17:45.678)
I love that. That is a very powerful way to look at how we live our lives. So that is fantastic. I did forget at the beginning, I was going to mention that you are also one of our newest ADHDKC board members. So welcome to the team there. What led you to ADHDKC? How did you find out about it?
Leila Lawson (18:02.894)
Thank you.
Leila Lawson (18:09.294)
I have a really, so I have a best friend named Nicole Smith and she says to me, Leila, I think this would be great for you. You're always talking about ADHD and how you have ADHD. And I think this will be a great opportunity for you to not only learn more, but to partake in this opportunity to make a difference. And I had not heard of ADHDKC. I didn't know that there was a support opportunity available.
when I began reading more about the opportunities and joined it join CHADD the National Organization and Became aware of all the podcast available the webinars. I was like a kid in a candy store. Honestly Kristen It really intrigued me because the minute you're able to learn yourself and learn more about the things that you thought were quote -unquote broken
It's like, yay, there's more people that are like me and I'm not broken. And even if you don't know a single soul that is struggling with maybe something you're struggling with, it puts it in perspective that you have an understanding of what you have been living with. And then it also functions as an opportunity for you to successfully find ways to tackle these struggles that you may have been having.
So it's almost as though you've been playing basketball or soccer or boxing or anything without a playbook and someone says, hey, you know there's a playbook, right? And you're like, stop it, there's a playbook to this? And you've just been making it up all along. So the playbook is here and it just feels great.
Kristen Stuppy (19:41.678)
I love that.
Kristen Stuppy (19:49.582)
Yeah, I think of course, CHADD is a national organization and they are recently joining with some of the other ADHD groups to be even bigger and stronger. And when you get a diagnosis and learn that it is very common to have some of these dysfunctions that you are struggling with and that other people are there along with you and you don't have to reinvent the wheel. There are proven techniques to help.
some of it involves medication, but some of it is just learning these tools and strategies. I think you find your tribe and you become validated. And as a pediatrician in my other life, I oftentimes see families who are afraid of a diagnosis and I really would encourage them to get an early diagnosis so that they can help validate their child and some of the problems and the issues that they're facing in their home and learn the tools.
And of course you don't need a diagnosis. It sounds like you learned some of these tools on your own just by researching and learning what other people have done for similar problems, but packaging it all together, I really think can help. I know a lot of adults who were diagnosed as adults and they think back to how childhood could have been so much better had their parents been able to give them the supports they needed and the tools they needed. So I'm sure that's part of what
coaches do as well. And then from the medical side, I can help with the medical aspects of it. So I am super excited to hear Leila talk. The strategies versus willpower tackling executive dysfunction, August 6th at 6 .30 PM. This is going to be offered online, but also in person at the Anita B. Gorman Center, which is on Troost, 4750 Troost in Kansas City, Missouri.
ADHDKC is working on trying new locations and this one just looks absolutely amazing. The Anita B. Gorman Center, you can stop by early, check out some of their paved nature trails and some exhibits inside the building. Exercise helps clear the mind. Studies have shown that if you take a walk before going to school, you actually will perform better at school. So maybe get there early, walk on some of their beautiful trails, and then come in when your brain can focus and listen to Leila talk.
Kristen Stuppy (22:13.07)
executive functioning skills. And again her talk is at 630 on August 6th. You can sign up by following the links on the adhdkc .org events page or from our newsletter. And I really do hope that people can join Leila and learn more about helping your kids develop executive functioning. So Leila do you have any other final thoughts?
Leila Lawson (22:15.63)
you
Leila Lawson (22:38.318)
No, I hope to see everyone on August 6th. Thank you.
Kristen Stuppy (22:41.55)
I am very much looking forward to it. Thank you for joining me today in this first ever podcast guest role. So thank you very much for being here.
Leila Lawson (22:48.942)
Thank you.
You're welcome, Kristen.
Keywords ADHD, executive functioning, strategies, police officer, life coach, teaching, diagnosis, willpower, conflict resolution, leadership skills, ADHDKC
Strategies vs Willpower: